Green Beans Don't Come From a Can?!

The Beginnings

I have been on a food journey. Not just lately but for awhile now. It all started a little over 6 years ago when my husband and I were dating. We decided to participate in a "Daniel fast", which is like going vegan for a specified amount of time. I thought I was going to die. I'm pretty sure I complained the entire two weeks of potatoes and beans. That was basically what I ate, with the exception of a few spears of broccoli. I was so hungry! No sugar, no meat, only whole grain carbs! Who could live like this!?! It was then I began to realize I eat like a kid. At 24 that's kind of a big deal.

Growing up you couldn't get me to taste a new veggie. I scoffed at carrots and cauliflower, and threatened to vomit at the sight of a green bean. You may think I'm joking... I am not. One of my less attractive qualities is stubbornness, and it always showed come dinner time. My parents never forced me to eat anything, just try it once. So I would and if I hated it I never tried it again.

From the realization of my childish ways came a new determination to eat better. I wanted to be healthy, so I decided to learn how to cook veggies and started adding them to my meals. Now here I am six years later actually considering vegetarianism, or at least "flexitarianism". It's a real thing, I swear! Flexitarian means that you eat mostly plants and every once in a while you have a big mac and a milk shake, or my favorite pepperoni and olive pizza from Round Table.... mmmm... My mouth is watering. Anyway back to what I was saying...My desire to be healthy has driven me to eat all sorts of things I would have never before considered: flax, oatmeal, brussels sprouts, kale, eggplant, onions, tomatoes, celery.  The list really isn't that exotic, but these are things I would never have opened up for.

What I've discovered over the last six years is that trying a food again and again is what makes you love something you thought you hated. I'm still working on avocados, and can only eat a tomato without the seeds or cooked until it is unrecognizable, but it's working, a little at a time. And I could eat oatmeal for breakfast every day now! Spinach salad, bring it on.

I know I'm not the only person who can't stand the sight of a beet or has never tasted a bean sprout. So I thought I would share what's worked for me and how I hide veggies from myself in food that is, well, delicious. I love to cook and experiment with food. I know some people aren't like that and maybe you don't want to do all the leg work to figure out how to incorporate more veggies for you or your kiddos. That's where I come in. 

My plan is to get my meat-loving, veggie-hating friends on board as tasters and testers. (Watch out guys I'm coming for you!) I hope to share yummy recipes and exciting new food adventures with you. And I would love to get feedback, celebrate triumphs over the artery-clogging diet we are all so used to. So let's get to it!

Mother of Two

Wow! Five months go by so fast! I cannot believe how difficult and wonderful they have been. Today Little Z is 5 months old. He is the sweetest, most adorable baby. I love him to pieces! Having two little ones has proven to be a challenge though, more than I was expecting to say the least!

People told me it would be harder, but I guess I just didn't believe them. Over these past months I've realized that moms are amazing. Not like, "I'm a mom and I'm amazing." But moms in general. I say if you've got more than one kid and you haven't killed anyone yet -- AMAZING! No, but seriously, I don't know how you can truly appreciate what moms do if you've never had to do it. Not just having and raising kids, but keeping your emotions under control, loving unconditionally, dealing with tempers and tantrums -- from kids and spouses and the ones you have in your head, listening to the same questions over and over, saying the same things over and over, cleaning, cooking, making all the boo boo's go away, and the list goes on! Just thinking about it makes me want my mommy! 

I know above all else I've needed my faith and family more than ever through having children. I've had to allow people to help and God to heal. I've had to take some long looks inside and decide who's more important, me or them. One of the scriptures that has helped me so much through this is Philippians 2:3-4 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." When I think about this in the context of family it rocks my world. It's easy to see this in a ministry setting, or even when thinking about work relations, or people less fortunate than you. But when you start thinking about your family this way it almost seems crazy! 

Many moms will tell you they put themselves last on the list. They'll say things like "I never buy anything new because all the money's going to the kids," or "I wish I had a few minutes a day for myself," or "I don't even have time to take a shower!" But I don't think that's what this verse means. It's deeper than that. It means that at the core, in my heart, I believe that my husband, my children, my mom/dad/siblings are the most valuable people in my life. I take care of me so I can take care of them. I put on my prettiest face for my husband. I put on patience and love for my children. I put on understanding and help for my parents. I put on kindness and a listening ear for my siblings. You see it's not that I get to be "the real" me with them -- which, by the way, bothers me when we think that's the crazy person living inside of us, but that's a different story -- but it's about being the best me because that's how important they are.

I know this isn't easy or comfortable for the most part, but with practice and lots of prayer I know I have begun to feel like this is me. I am a kind and loving parent. I am beautiful and respectful wife. I honor and help my parents and love my siblings. Not always. Never perfectly. But intentionally and carefully. I am learning that if I can be unselfish and understanding at home, it becomes that much easier everywhere else.

*As a side note, while I'm writing this my almost-3-year-old is "juggling", which means he's basically throwing balls in the air and hitting everything breakable in the house, including me! Whose idea was it to buy him those juggling balls anyway!?!

My Little Blessings

 First bath in the sink!

 Surprise face!!!

A little quality time with baby brother...so sweet.

Gratefulness

Sometimes life seems difficult, unfair, distressing, uncomfortable... I have found in those times the only way out is to take on an attitude of thanksgiving. It is really hard at first to count your blessings when all you can see is the "yuck" around you. 

Having our second baby has been pretty rough. All of my insecurities about being a good parent and basically not killing anyone in the process have risen to the surface. Add to that sleeplessness and dropping hormones and let's just say I've been better! But through it all I am reminded to just be grateful. Grateful that I have bottoms to clean and noses to wipe. Grateful for a toddler, let alone a time out spot. Grateful to have a newborn who wakes me up at night. Grateful for a husband without whom I would be totally lost and an even bigger mess. Grateful for a family who loves me and a support system of family members and friends who love and take care of me.

Philipians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." I used to focus on verse 7. The peace of God is something we all want. But then I realized the command associated with the promise and I began to not only quote this passage but experience it. 

Anxiety is a big foe. It can be overwhelming and all-consuming. But God is bigger. When I start thanking Him for the wonderful blessings in my life and putting Him on the throne where He belongs, well, my problems don't seem so big. I still have to live here and deal with reality, but I do it knowing that my Papa will take care of me and see me through. Somehow it works every time.

Reflections

Watching Zachary the last few days has reminded me how amazing God is. It's hard to deny the intelligence and creativity it takes to create something so intricate and perfect. I think the first thing I noticed when my babies came out is that it seems literally impossible that this entire little person fit inside of me! And then to watch how they function so perfectly and begin even from the first day to express who they are...it's mind blowing! 

I see such striking differences in my boys and it's only been 6 days! Jeremiah was alert and curious from the moment he was born. The first time he was placed on my chest to nurse he went for it with gusto. To this day if his food is not ready when he is it's a very bad thing. Zachary was placed on my chest Tuesday morning after a quick rinse and he immediately fell asleep! for a whole hour! When he nurses he takes his time and I struggle to keep him awake throughout. He's the definition of a sleepy head. I can imagine he'll be one of those kids who falls asleep in his spaghetti! Basically anything that I could possibly have noticed about Zachy's personality and temperament in the last few days is pretty much exactly opposite of Jeremiah's. The funny thing is when Zachary came out Josh said, "He looks exactly like Jeremiah! He's beautiful!"

How fearfully and wonderfully they are each made. Such a mystery. God is so infinitely creative that to give me two boys, cut from the same cloth yet completely different, is like nothing to Him, but He takes care to do it so perfectly. I love that about Him. His tenderness, care, creativity, and delight are constantly expressed in His creation. What an amazing Father. What an awesome God!