Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Introducing....
Baby #2
Today, once again, our lives will change forever. In just about three hours we will have a new addition to our family. A new little life to tend and train. A new little temperament to love and discipline. We knew when we had Jeremiah that life would never be the same, but how much different will it be now? How much more love and chaos?
I'm so grateful for a God who walks with us through the overwhelming things of life...for family and friends who never cease to support and pour out unconditional love...for a husband who is most definitely the best thing to ever happen to me, not to mention the most amazing man I know...for pastors who care enough to call and pray us through our fears.
I can't begin to describe the mix of emotions and thought processes that have overtaken me in the last 24 hours. Excitement swings to anxiety and back to elation again. Then FEAR! Then get-this-kid-out-of-me! And on and on...
I know it will be great. I know he'll be a wonderful blessing. I know God has greater things in store than I could ever comprehend, and more love than I thought I could know. So... I'll put on my brave face and ball my eyes out later safe in the presence of my big, strong Papa God, whose loving embrace knows no end.
And maybe I'll post a picture or two!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Abandonment
So, I'm in the middle of a Bible study called Falling in Love with Jesus. The 3rd week in our study is all about surrender and abandoning everything for the Love of our lives. I also started reading a book called Radical by David Platt, which is basically about this exact thing. It just so happens I started reading the book the same week I managed week 3 in my Bible study... hmmm... coincidence?
My heart has always been for God's will in my life, no matter what. At the beginning of this week's study I was challenged to pray Ruth 1:16-17 “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” I must say I had a little trouble getting the words out. I've come to realize that it's not just something to say or "believe", but it's something to live.
Now I'm not saying that before this past week I didn't really mean that I wanted to live out God's will, but it's just hit me like a ton of bricks, that if He asked my life -- not just my physical life, but everything I hold dear, and He could! -- then I would have to give it. Not have to like someone's making me, but have to like because I love Him with everything. Nothing I have has come because of anything I've done, only because He's given it. But as I started to pray those words, "Where you go I will go, where you stay I will stay..." I broke, because I realized that my stuff really did have a hold on me. That's not who I want to be!
I want to live my life in a way that I can fulfill every call of God on my life. Yes, I want to enjoy His blessings and walk with joy and hope, but do I really need "stuff" to believe that He's a good God? Do I need "things" to believe that He wants to bless me? I have an amazing family and more love than I can possibly deserve, but what if He asked me for them? Would I question that He's worth it? I've decided that He is -- He's so worth it: everything, all of me, all my comforts and desires, hopes and dreams, loves and lovees. He's the only One I want to live my life for.
I've started reading through the Bible, and I'm shooting to read through it in the coming year. I've attempted this before and have never quite made it, but here I go again. I'm praying that through His Word, my life will be transformed and my mind renewed. I've already had some "aha" moments. I can't wait for more to come. I'm so blessed to be loved by such an amazing Papa. I hope you know that love too.
My heart has always been for God's will in my life, no matter what. At the beginning of this week's study I was challenged to pray Ruth 1:16-17 “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” I must say I had a little trouble getting the words out. I've come to realize that it's not just something to say or "believe", but it's something to live.
Now I'm not saying that before this past week I didn't really mean that I wanted to live out God's will, but it's just hit me like a ton of bricks, that if He asked my life -- not just my physical life, but everything I hold dear, and He could! -- then I would have to give it. Not have to like someone's making me, but have to like because I love Him with everything. Nothing I have has come because of anything I've done, only because He's given it. But as I started to pray those words, "Where you go I will go, where you stay I will stay..." I broke, because I realized that my stuff really did have a hold on me. That's not who I want to be!
I want to live my life in a way that I can fulfill every call of God on my life. Yes, I want to enjoy His blessings and walk with joy and hope, but do I really need "stuff" to believe that He's a good God? Do I need "things" to believe that He wants to bless me? I have an amazing family and more love than I can possibly deserve, but what if He asked me for them? Would I question that He's worth it? I've decided that He is -- He's so worth it: everything, all of me, all my comforts and desires, hopes and dreams, loves and lovees. He's the only One I want to live my life for.
I've started reading through the Bible, and I'm shooting to read through it in the coming year. I've attempted this before and have never quite made it, but here I go again. I'm praying that through His Word, my life will be transformed and my mind renewed. I've already had some "aha" moments. I can't wait for more to come. I'm so blessed to be loved by such an amazing Papa. I hope you know that love too.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Revelation(s)
I'm taking part in a new Bible study this fall: Revelation, There and Then, Here and Now by Beth Moore. It's obviously deep, but also surprisingly refreshing. Beth has asked us to ask God for fresh revelation from Him about Him in our daily lives, and then journal it. I thought I'd just share a little of what He's been showing me.
Having a new baby in the house, I get to see and learn new things about God and His big giant love all the time! Yesterday we were laying on my bed and Jeremiah was babbling on and on, grabbing at his feet and studying his hands. He was so precious, and I thoroughly enjoyed just listening to him "talk" even though I had no idea what he was saying. Then it hit me: that's how God feels about me. The only difference is He always knows what I'm saying -- maybe even better than I do. But he enjoys me that much. He just wants to spend time with me, listening to me, watching me discover new things and sharing them with Him. So beautiful!
As I was driving today I had another small revelation about how He wants me to serve Him. I think in my head I have this built-up, crazy notion of who I'm "supposed to be". But I felt Him say, "Just be you. Just be who I created you to be and that's enough for me. I'll do the rest." It's so refreshing to think that I don't have to put on airs or try to make myself better. I can just be me. And that in itself is an act of worship.
It's amazing how learning more about Him always sheds light on my silly thoughts and insecurities. But I love knowing that to Him, nothing I feel or think or am is silly. It's all exactly right. Just how He made me.
Having a new baby in the house, I get to see and learn new things about God and His big giant love all the time! Yesterday we were laying on my bed and Jeremiah was babbling on and on, grabbing at his feet and studying his hands. He was so precious, and I thoroughly enjoyed just listening to him "talk" even though I had no idea what he was saying. Then it hit me: that's how God feels about me. The only difference is He always knows what I'm saying -- maybe even better than I do. But he enjoys me that much. He just wants to spend time with me, listening to me, watching me discover new things and sharing them with Him. So beautiful!
As I was driving today I had another small revelation about how He wants me to serve Him. I think in my head I have this built-up, crazy notion of who I'm "supposed to be". But I felt Him say, "Just be you. Just be who I created you to be and that's enough for me. I'll do the rest." It's so refreshing to think that I don't have to put on airs or try to make myself better. I can just be me. And that in itself is an act of worship.
It's amazing how learning more about Him always sheds light on my silly thoughts and insecurities. But I love knowing that to Him, nothing I feel or think or am is silly. It's all exactly right. Just how He made me.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
You Blow Me Away!
Oh Lord! My heart cries out in gratitude, in humility, in praise!
Who am I that you would even notice me?
Yet You extend your hand of salvation, in desire for relationship with me!
How have I even caught your eye?
Why do you look on me as lovely and beloved?
Oh precious blood of Jesus Christ!
Only by your mercy have I been redeemed.
Only because of your sacrifice do I even have a place at the Father's table...
Yet not just any place, but the place of honor:
The bride of my beloved.
And so I come in all humility, in all my unworthiness,
Only to be clothed with your strength and to be made clean and worthy
Of your love, of your life...object of your desire.
Holy, righteous, acceptable, desired, loved, beautiful,
Without spot or blemish -- because of your blood.
Oh how I love You!
Who am I that you would even notice me?
Yet You extend your hand of salvation, in desire for relationship with me!
How have I even caught your eye?
Why do you look on me as lovely and beloved?
Oh precious blood of Jesus Christ!
Only by your mercy have I been redeemed.
Only because of your sacrifice do I even have a place at the Father's table...
Yet not just any place, but the place of honor:
The bride of my beloved.
And so I come in all humility, in all my unworthiness,
Only to be clothed with your strength and to be made clean and worthy
Of your love, of your life...object of your desire.
Holy, righteous, acceptable, desired, loved, beautiful,
Without spot or blemish -- because of your blood.
Oh how I love You!
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