I Just Don't Know

I wish there were some secret to becoming who God wants me to be. A secret that would make everything work out, and would get me quickly to the point where I've learned what I need to know. Sometimes in our walk, the lessons can seem so painful, difficult, long. Sometimes we're not quite sure if we can make it through to the next step, or if it will even be worth it.

Something that I've been learning is that there is a secret: the more you know God, the more you will want to know Him. It's not really a secret, but it sure is the way it works. When times get tough, maybe you turn to God first, maybe you don't, but eventually we all end up there. The question is, what do you do once the trial is over? That's the real test of your faith: do you continue seeking to fill your deep need for God with God. Is your relationship with God as close and strong in the good times as it is the bad? Do you come out of a trial stronger than you went in?

Sometimes it takes all we have just to get up and press on, but what if we are already in the habit of letting God press for us? What if we start every day with the realization of our deep and ever widening need for Him, and then pursue Him and his presence? What if He really is our every breath and thought?... Honestly, I don't know; I'm not there yet. But that's my goal. That God would be the sole desire of my heart. That each and every day I wake up and take another breath of His mercy, let Him fill me, and walk with Him.

The secret is no secret at all: Prayer and the Word. It may not be easy at first, but as we take that first step, the next one doesn't seem so scary. And the next one is almost a joy. And eventually we find ourselves in the place where we can't help but trust and obey. That's all there is to it.

Beth Moore tells about how her daughters used to cling to her when they wanted her attention but she didn't have time to play with them. You've seen it or been part of it: a child clinging to his/her parent's legs as if his/her very life depended on it. That's what God wants of us. He wants us to cling to Him as if our lives depended on it. In fact, our lives do depend on it. We need Him!