Do you ever find yourself at a loss for words....It is very rare for me, but as I pray and think about what God has and wants from me, that's exactly where I find myself. Someone gave me a "word" the other day -- something she felt God wanted her to say to me. I love it when that happens! As she shared it with me my first response was an emotional one, but then I found myself asking, "Is this really for me? God what does this mean?" And it's been stirring in my spirit ever since. It's not that I don't believe it was for me or that I don't want to receive it, it's just that it remains unclear.
I love when God does that...we ask Him to speak to us and He does, but then we're even more in the dark as to what He means. And so I find myself seeking Him more. Asking Him more and for more. And if that is all that this "word" has brought about then it was worth it. But I'm unsettled in my heart and in my spirit. I am longing and discontent with where I find myself spiritually. And I am at a loss for words. No words to write. No words to sing. No words to pray. Just silence.
I guess that's not always a bad thing. Sometimes I think that is God's goal with us -- to get us to the place where all we can do is listen. All we can do is think about what He might want from us. All we can do is ask for more.
O God, do not keep silent; be not quiet, O God, be not still. Psalm 83:1